face 2 face and cyberface

I have not made friendships exclusively from cyberspace, every friend I have contact with on the Internet I’ve had some type of f2f relationship with beforehand. There have been some relationships that have grown through cyberspace, such as people who I have met on vacation or some type of trip. Our relationship may have started as a quick acquaintance while on vacation and grew into a full on friendship by keeping in touch through email, facebook and AIM. It is really useful to be able to have cyber relationships now a days especially because, like it has said in our book, our world is turning into a global village. With so many every day transactions that are being made from city to city the internet helps make it easy to keep in contact with those we meet while either at work or on vacation. The Internet has been a huge turning crutch in my long distance relationship with my boyfriend. He is in the Marine Corps and although he has not had to deploy yet, he has gone to schooling and been stationed all around the country. At times the best way for us to communicate was the Internet and thus propelling us into the cyberspace relationship.

"I heard it through the grapevine."

3). Pick one concept from Chapter 8 that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.
I found it really interesting to read about the history of the saying “I heard it through the grapevine (pg.224).” I have used this phrase many times in the past without even knowing the story behind it. I found it amusing that the saying came from the Civil War telegraph lines. Also, it was funny to read that information on the grapevine is usually 75 to 95% accurate. I assumed that a lot of the information one hears through the grapevine was false rumors. Especially after reading about the example of the game telephone. I found that example to be useful because information does get distorted when being shared through many links. I felt that the information on the grapevine could be like information in telephone but now once I think about it, it makes sense that information can be incomplete and still accurate.
The grapevine is an informal communication structure and I feel, through both reading the book and my experience, that the informal structures are the most effective. Just as the book discusses dissatisfaction of employees with downward communication, formal communication runs with the same stride. People can take formal information worse than they would informal information, especially because with informal communication information comes out smoother and can be situational. More formal communication is less situational and personal.

Filters

I found Duck’s filtering theory very interesting to read. It was easy to relate his theory to my life and it was fun to think about how I filter people into my life. I did however find that the physical proximity part true and false at the same time. The example he gave made sense to me with the houses which face inward becoming closer than the houses that did not. But the idea of that is situational as well. Also, with our world becoming a global village (as our book would call it) our proximity is not as important or relevant any more. Long distance relationships have become a lot easier than before, this I know from experience.
Thinking about the filters I use to eliminate people from consideration as potential romantic partners was fun for me. Characteristics that lead me to judge others as unattractive would be rudeness, self-centeredness, and close mindedness. I cannot stand when people are rude to others for no apparent reason, being rude is one of the biggest things one can do to make themselves ugly. To be confident and aware of yourself is good but to be all about yourself and not care for any one else is very unattractive. You may be important but you are not the only person living on this planet. And lastly I try to be as open minded as I can be so I find it very attractive for someone to be open. When people are so closed minded that they wont even listen to a different idea I find it incredibly rude which as I said before is ugly (in my eyes).
I have eliminated people before using sociological and pre-interaction cues only to reconsider them based on interaction and cognitive cues. I see now the sociological cues were due to stereotypes I had given to people from certain places. I am very happy that I was able to open my eyes and see people for who they were oppose to their sociological and pre-interaction cues because some of them are my closest friends now.

Culture and perception

When I was reading the section about culture and perception it reminded me of when I lived in San Diego. I had just moved down and was living with three other girls who I had only just met. Two of he girls grew up with different cultural backgrounds than me. I had to keep an open mind to some of the things the girls would do. One girl in particular would always yell at her parents when speaking to them on the phone. This was extremely odd to me and the other girls especially because we would have gotten in big trouble if we spoke to our parents the way she was . It wasn't until I had gone up to her house to visit that I realized this was how her family was. She grew up with different norms than I did and the way she spoke with her parents was completely acceptable.
Another thing that this chapter seemed to repeat a few times was the "us" and "them." I feel like this is a problem I see all over. It is sad but true. People feel as though they are of higher value than other people from different cultures. My very own cousin falls victim to this way of thinking and as much as I try to educate her and open her mind she is very stuborn. It is something we need to start teaching our children from a young age so that they don't become the people seperating themselves into the "us" and "them."

"Creatures of culture"

I do agree with Ruth Benedict that we "are creatures of our culture" and our habits, beliefs, and impossibilities are shaped by our culture. I agree because, like I have previously touched upon, I feel as though our culture is what shapes us. And like Benedict has stated it is our habits, beliefs, and impossibilities that are shaped by our culture, it is even when our habits, beliefs, or impossibilities differ from our culture, it is our culture that makes us come to those conclusions.
As to how we can break through the limits of our cultures, I feel, once again, it is through openness. Like the book discusses it is often overlooked that the way someone acts may be due to his or her culture, and in turn we label people. It is when one has an open mind to the idea of people growing up with different norms and habits is when we can break away from the limits of our cultures. Realizing peoples different backgrounds and cultures helps to identify why a person is the way they are.

Chapter five: Personal Space

Personal Space
Personal Space stood out to me because it is a funny concept yet one that holds true. Personal space is what makes people comfortable or uncomfortable in certain situations. One instance is in elevators. It is always very amusing to see how uncomfortable many people seem to get when they are all smooshed into one small confined place such as an elevator.
Another instance that came to my mind was the gender roles with personal space. Has anyone ever noticed when taking pictures of guys and their friends you have to tell them to get closer and act like they know each other? Haha This has happened many times in my life and it cracks me up every time. It is just funny how girls huddle together as close as possible but guys seem to stand very far away, until pushed together. This is another reference of gender roles with language.

Perception

1.) Is it possible to perceive others without, in some way, judging or categorizing them? If so, how? If not, how can we make the judgments we do make, more fair?
I feel as though it is not possible to perceive others without, in some way, judging or categorizing them. Now, just because I do not think it is possible does not mean that I particularly like the idea of it, I just feel as though it is not possible. In our society we have stereotypes and generalizations, as unfair as it may seem it is something our society builds upon. I am not saying that everyone necessarily does, but our society as a whole does. One example of our society building upon our stereotypes and generalizations is with comedy through comedians, and TV shows such as Family Guy or the Simpsons. It has become acceptable to play with the stereotypes and poke at them for our enjoyment but us poking fun at it and continuing to show it helps us keep the stereotypes around.
I liked at the beginning of chapter 3 it where it stated, “when we listen, we are not passive receivers but active creators of meaning (p. 45).” This was very compelling to me and it rings true. When we are listening, even if it is just through our eyes when we first meet someone we are creating a meaning. For example when we first see someone we may create a meaning for their appearance and this in turn can start our judgment and categorizing.
In order to make judgments and categorizing more fair I think we need to be able to keep our minds open. We may perceive someone one way but if we are open minded our perceptions are able to change and our judgments or categorizing may fade. It is hard not to judge someone when you first meet but it is easy to change those judgments once you get to truly know a person. I cannot tell you how many of my closest friends are people I once judged as being bithcy and completely opposite of who they really are.